Ethereum Founder Vitalik Buterin Signs Up For Gym Membership, Re-brands As Vitalik BROterin


MOSCOW, RUSSIA – Wunderkind and Ethereum Founder, Vitalik Buterin, has decidedly re-branded himself as Vitalik BROterin in a recent Tweet following his out of character decision to sign a year-long gym membership. These recent developments have left the Ethereum community in an uproar, demanding an explanation of this questionable decision during such a tremulous time in the crypto space.

“As the founder and poster child of the Ethereum Foundation, my physical appearance is a direct reflection of how people will perceive the strength of the platform,” Vitalik explained. “I understand this might seem a bit unwarranted, but let me ask you this – would you rather have your investments associated with an emaciated, block-headed Ruskie, or a brolic, muscle-bound beefcake?”

Seemingly aware about concerns of his attention pivoting away from the platform, Vitalik continued to justify his new found decision and gave us an inside look at his dietary and exercise regimen.

“A typical day in my routine is to drink a six-pack of Pediasure, drive to the gym, hit some code-fixes on Github for an hour or so (you don’t want to cramp up mid-workout), then bench press 4 sets of 5 on the 45lbs bar, guided pull-ups, another Pediasure, and then 5 sets of 5 guided dips. I then usually vomit a few times in the locker room shower, and shortly drive home to have another 3 Pediasures for dinner and an actual shower that’s not covered in vomit.”

We were fortunate enough to get in touch with members of the gym to discuss Vitalik’s progress and presence in the facility.

“All I can really say is that the guy definitely drinks a lot of Pediasure,” said Vitalik’s personal trainer Ivan Stepanov. “If his intake of baby supplements is any indication of his ability to work on Ethereum, I’d say that the community is in gangling, but good hands.”

Another member of the gym who would like to remain anonymous had this to say.

“I’m all for encouraging newcomers and people wanting to better themselves physically, but the constant flow of new unicorn t-shirts and miscommunication are a bit off-putting. Last week I had asked him if he needed a spotter and he told me that the foundation wasn’t hiring, whatever that means.”

At press time, it is unclear whether or not Vitalik will remain focused on Ethereum development for the foreseeable future.

Keep an eye out later this month for Vitalik’s new eBook outlining and discussing his strict all protein diet, aptly named “Proof of Steak”.

Photo by Victor Freitas on Unsplash

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