BRISBANE, AUS – The consensus surrounding Dr. Craig Wright’s claim to the renowned online pseudonym ‘Satoshi Nakamoto’ is one of considerable doubt in the world of crypto. This communal uncertainty is driven by a handful of key parallels between the two, with the most prominent being Wright’s inability to have a normal fucking conversation paired with his inability to code even a “Hello World” console application.
Note: Dr. Wright agreed to an interview contingent on the demand that each mention of his name is prefixed by ‘Dr.’, and that his quotes are printed in the format he would write them “if he was interviewing himself”.
“It has come to my attention that there are those in the community…
Who doubt my identity…
Well you will feel my power soon enough…”,
Dr. Wright typed slowly with a lot of pauses, line-by-line for some reason.
“I didn’t want to have to play this card. But you fools asked for it.
My Codecademy profile touts a substantial degree of achievement…
As you can see I have accumulated over 10k fucking points and countless badges…
Oh yes, I write code…
I have written more lines of code than that dickhead Ver can count.”
In light of this recently surfaced “proof”, we posted the original interview transcript & profile link to various cryptocurrency forums to gauge community feedback & responses on the newly divulged information.
“Why the hell does he type like that?” replied BitcoinTalk user, drkmtn, who has ‘been in the game’ since 2017. “Is typing this way meant to be mysterious or threatening, or something? I have an Aunt who types like that on Facebook, and it’s annoying as fuck. Although, I do concede that his Codecademy stats are impressive – but still I’m not sure that I’m entirely convinced. Somebody like Andreas should quiz him to make sure he’s the real deal.”
Shortly after the initial post, the BitcoinTalk community launched an ad-hoc investigation into his Codecademy profile. This led down a rabbit hole of various other linked starter projects & services that the 48 year old Australian computer scientist claims to use ironically – including his fork of the ‘create-react-app’ repository.
Dr. Wright commented on this discovery via email, line by line once again:
“I see you’ve found my secret pretend decoy repo… splendid
Truth is, I wanted this to be found so that nobody would suspect that I AM Satoshi…
As you can see. I hardly changed anything.
And once I figure out how to run it locally… you’ll all be sorry.
You can’t fake this caliber of engineering