OXNARD, CA – The HODL Times staff sat down for an interview with eager cryptocurrency trader Evan Wilkinson, who is on a journey to do what most investors only dream of – finding the next Bitcoin before his parents kick him out and he has to get a […]
Your family & friends may not understand, but we do. You’re too busy getting in on the ground floor of revolutionary new technologies that you don’t understand to hold down some measly, dead-end 9-5 job. To help you maintain your image, our analysts have compiled the top 10 […]
STANFORD, CA – Contentious remittance cryptocurrency XRP is making rounds in the media again, but this time on the shoulders of a groundbreaking new study. Published in various science journals across the country, the study in question has revealed that given the opportunity, an astounding 100% of XRP […]
JACKSONVILLE, FL – With news of the GameStop (GME) short-squeeze reaching global notoriety, people across the world are finding themselves feeling a bit left out, turning to alternative investments in hopes of retiring in the coming weeks at any cost. One such individual is recently self-proclaimed investing mogul […]
SCOTTSDALE, AZ – The HODL Times investigative team arrived on scene today where local area crypto trader, Todd Campbell, was found in a fit of blind rage attempting to uproot and vandalize a Wells Fargo ATM machine. Witness reports claim that Campbell was attempting to withdraw cash to […]
REDDIT, INTERNET – In light of the January 2019 51% attack on the Ethereum Classic network, a prolific Reddit user posted to the /r/EthereumClassic subreddit armed with a whole new level of self confirmation bias – this time, in the form of a lengthy write-up – outlining why […]
My dear friends, Did you really think that I wouldn’t have a contingency plan in the event I was wrong about a price prediction I made when I was high on mescaline? You fucking
REDDIT, INTERNET – “I can’t believe nobody has thought of this before,” bragged self-anointed ‘crypto g0d’, 16 year old Kevin Wade. “Instead of wasting my time analyzing market trends,
To the Editor, Don’t get me wrong, I’m a progressive guy. I listen to The Joe Rogan Experience and even have a soul patch – but I’m calling bullshit on this whole wage gap narrative. Towards the end of last year, I was on top of the world; […]
TOKYO – Miscommunication resulting from language barriers has left the crypto world in a frenzy today, as popular Chinese cryptocurrency influencer Wang Chi mispronounced ‘Litecoin’ as ‘Ritecoin’ in a recent bullish interview. LTC price was unaffected by the mix up, while VEN immediately dropped another 20% Following the […]
