BREAKING: Kucoin Locked in Legal Battle with Struggling Ku-Klux-Klan Owned Blockchain Startup Over Rights to Kucoin Trademark


HONG KONG – Prolific cryptocurrency exchange, Kucoin, is confirmed to be locked in explosive litigation stemming from bold allegations by a white supremacist blockchain startup over claims that Kucoin has illegally trademarked the Kucoin name. The plaintiff (tentatively named KuKoin), asserts that their technology has been in development since 2015 – predating that of Kucoin’s.

Kucoin’s attorney released a public statement on Twitter following the exchange’s initial subpoena.

“We’re not budging on this. An easier solution than taking this to trial would be to fork Kucoin Share’s codebase and choose a similar name – like Kucoin Cash, Klancoin, or OutdatedIdeologyCoin. And judging from previous correspondence with our accuser, they don’t appear to even have a staffed development team at this point in time. Their case doesn’t have a leg to stand on.”

The HODL Times staff got in touch with KuKoin’s founder, Richie Spencer, who fiercely addressed Kucoin’s statement.

“What the fuck does a fork have to do with anything? Look, we all want this case to be over with so that we can back to eating supper at home with our families. And no, while we don’t actively have a development team on staff, we’re currently in the process of hiring some outsourced developers to work with us. Although… we can pretty much take a single glance at most of them, and it’s clear that they wouldn’t be a good culture fit here at KuKoin, if you know what I mean.”

“Think about it, would you want to work with people who willingly choose to dev PHP? Gross. I’m pretty sure you can’t build a blockchain with WordPress.” Spencer added.

Spencer reluctantly agreed to expand on what problem their coin intends to solve, and what use cases it could facilitate.

“Well, we’re still hashing out what exactly we want the coin to be used for, but first we need to lock down the name. If we can do that, I see a bright future ahead of us. Maybe our coin could become the exclusive currency among individuals and businesses who’s ideology are in line with our own: pewdiepie, Trump Hotels, and the old CEO of Papa John’s, to name a few.”

KuKoin isn’t oblivious to the fact that the average investor is uncomfortable getting involved with a company of their sort, and intend to address this issue with what they internally refer to as “The Trevon James Approach”.

“With this system we just sort of lie and heavily exaggerate in hopes that people will buy,” said Spencer. “Immoral? Sure, but this is business. You tell me which of these two descriptions sounds more desirable – ‘A Niche Coin Backed by White Supremacists and Built With PHP’? Or ‘An Exclusive Payment Coin for America’s Elite and Not Written in PHP and Also Backed by Papa John Himself’.”

Photo by Claire Anderson on Unsplash

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