BRISBANE, AUS – Consensus surrounding Australian computer scientist, Dr. Craig Wright’s, claim to the renowned online pseudonym ‘Satoshi Nakamoto’  is one of substantial contention. This communal uncertainty is driven by a handful of key parallels between the two – the most prominent being Dr. Wright’s inability to have a normal fucking conversation, and his inability to develop trivial software.

The HODL Times staff was able to secure an interview with the controversial figure, contingent on Dr. Wright’s demand that each mention of his name be prefixed by ‘Dr.’.

“It has come to my attention that there are those in the community who doubt my credentials.” Dr. Wright presented. “I really didn’t want to have to play this card, but you fools asked for it; my Codecademy profile touts a substantial degree of achievement. As you can see, I’ve accumulated over 10K community points, countless badges, and have almost memorized the notorious javascript for loop syntax.”

Following the release of Dr. Wright’s proclaimed proof, the Bitcoin community launched a grassroots investigation into his Codecademy profile. This led down a rabbit hole of his Github, which reportedly contains nothing but largely empty starter projects that the middle aged Australian computer scientist claims to use ironically – including his fork of the create-react-app repository.

Dr. Wright commented on this discovery via email:

“I see you’ve found my ironic secret pretend decoy repo… splendid

Truth is, I wanted this to be found so that nobody would suspect that I AM Satoshi…

As you can see, I’ve hardly changed anything.

And once I figure out how to run it locally… you’ll all be sorry.

You can’t fake this caliber of engineering.

Fuck you,

Craig”

Photo by Kobu Agency on Unsplash