VIRGINIA BEACH, VI – Local area man, Timothy Barnes, has been making waves in the community on the shoulders of a single, misguided idea; that the primary use case of NFTs is anything more than JPEGs of monkeys in designer clothes and tetradic color palettes. The HODL Times […]
MOSCOW, RUSSIA – In a surprising turn of events, wunderkind and Ethereum founder Vitalik Buterin has announced in a recent tweet the general availability of his new bodybuilding program, Proof Of Steak. This out of character decision has left the Ethereum community perplexed, demanding an explanation for the […]
HARTFORD, RH – It comes as no surprise that the chaotic cryptocurrency space by and large carries the most shit-slinging and tribalism among it’s stakeholders. This misguided vitriol is particularly prevalent in the communities of failing projects that are the result of hard forks such as Ethereum Classic, […]
SAINT PAUL, MN – Even the most passive lurkers of fintech spheres are likely to have encountered this behavior online in recent years; hoards of ostensibly low-functioning teenagers with Wolf of Wall Street-inspired avatars/profile pictures unloading emojis and poor financial advice in every corner of the web. Our […]
The HODL Times is a satirical website with a focus on cryptocurrency, blockchain, and DeFi founded by Sacramento-based software engineer Stevie Sullivan. Come laugh at the absurdity of the web3 space with us.
GRAPEVINE, TX – Despite consumer interest in NFTs plummeting, businesses are still eager to get their foot in the door of the Web3 space at any cost. Be it an existing company undergoing a digital transformation that should have happened a decade ago, or a startup solving a […]
JACKSONVILLE, FL – In the wake of the GameStop run up, eager investors across the globe are finding themselves feeling left out and are turning to alternative investments in hopes of retiring before they turn 21. One such individual is recently self-proclaimed investing mogul and Florida native, Darren […]
STANFORD, CA – Contentious cryptocurrency, Terra Luna, is making rounds in the media again – but this time on the shoulders of a groundbreaking new study. Published in various science journals across the country, the study in question has revealed that given the opportunity, an astounding 100% of […]
OXNARD, CA – The HODL Times staff sat down for an interview with eager cryptocurrency trader Evan Wilkinson, who is on a journey to do what most investors only dream of – finding the next Bitcoin before his parents kick him out and he has to get a […]
Your family & friends may not understand, but we do. You’re too busy getting in on the ground floor of revolutionary new technologies that you don’t understand to hold down some measly, dead-end 9-5 job. To help you maintain your image, our analysts have compiled the 10 highly […]
In an unanticipated turn of events, renown Reddit /r/bitcoin moderator Theymos has refactored the forum’s heavily disputed ‘no Altcoin discussion’ rule. New modifications to the rule now
WASHINGTON D.C – Coming as a surprise to no one, the USA based Department of Labor agency OSHA has deemed Ethereum founder, Vitalik Buterin’s, head-to-body ratio a high-risk safety hazard
SPOKANE, WA – Evident by a recent series of lengthy Craigslist job postings for blockchain developers to work on “the next Ethereum”, local man & self-described entrepreneur
FLORENCE, ITALY – Disgraced former owner of infamous cryptocurrency exchange Bitgrail, Francesco Firano has unveiled new details today regarding his “crypto-supergroup”, confirming it will be comprised of Jed McCaleb (Mt.Gox Co-Founder), Brock Pierce, (Tether Co-Founder), and Carlos Matos (Bitconnect Spokesman). Each confirmed member has had considerable trouble finding relevant […]
My dear friends, Did you really think that I wouldn’t have a contingency plan in the event I was wrong about a price prediction I made when I was high on mescaline? You fucking
The HODL Times 