VIRGINIA BEACH, VI – Local area man, Timothy Barnes, has been making waves in the community on the shoulders of a single, misguided idea; that the primary use case of NFTs is anything more than JPEGs of monkeys in designer clothes and tetradic color palettes. The HODL Times staff secured an interview with the brazen local to shine a light on his bold take.

“I don’t know how to break this to you buddy, but NFTs aren’t just JPEGs,” Barnes smugly asserted. “I mean yeah, all of my NFTs are just JPEGs, sure – but In the future, everything will be an NFT! Think of it like getting a receipt for buying something, except you only get the receipt. Which, in my opinion, is the best part.”

Real world application of NFTs has been heavily criticized by even the most bullish of web3 proponents, to which Barnes has many prepared responses about theoretical applications that are already solved today.

“Heh,” Barnes quietly chuckled. “Ever play a video game? Maybe go to a concert? How about watch a movie? All of these things can be NFTs.”

“With NFTs, no longer will people claim that your digital copy of Big Trouble in Little China is unauthentic. No longer do you run the risk of buying bootleg Fortnite skins from the Epic Store. NO LONGER will concert venue security question your absolute, supreme ownership of a $20 ticket that they can already validate in a simpler way.”

“W-with NFTs…” he passionately continued in a broken voice, tears streaming down his face. “NFTs can be anything I want them to be.”

At press time, Barnes was unable to cite any practical examples of non-JPEG NFTs that actually exist today.