CHARLESTON, SC – The holiday season is a time of year that most associate with food, family, and comfort. For others, it’s the time when they must confront relatives they gave comically bad, unsolicited investing advice to the year before. Local area man, Tyler Sterling, is one such person finding himself in the latter group as a result of last Thanksgiving, when he drunkenly advised his near-retirement aged relatives to ‘go all in’ on Solana.
“Oh man, Uncle Rico is fuckin’ pissed,” fretted the 23 year old delivery driver. “The guy’s been pacing back and forth in the backyard chain smoking two cigarettes at a time for hours now. He keeps calling me ‘precious’ and asking me to come outside ‘to talk’, but I can see the lead pipe sticking out of his back pocket so I think I’m just gonna stay put. Everybody else seems to be taking it with considerably more decorum; drinking their brains out and ugly crying at the table, though that’s pretty much every thanksgiving.”
Although people he loves are heartbroken by the impact to their financial future, Tyler maintains that he doesn’t regret advising people on the verge of retirement to invest in a web3 project that’s experienced so many public blunders.
“Has the Solana network gone down a few dozen times? Sure. Have the vast majority of their DeFi protocols been exploited? Y- yeah, but those were all flukes. Did hundreds of thousands of people on the internet try to warn me & others to stay away? Wouldn’t know, because I don’t read FUD. Anyway, I still think that Uncle Rico is overreacting – I mean, if he lives a few more years then he’ll probably be able to break even during the next bull run. If he doesn’t, well then it’s not really my problem anymore.”
“Hell, maybe he’ll leave me an inheritance that I can buy more Solana with.” he added.
At press time Tyler claims that he’s made amends with his family, having since convinced them to go all in on Loopring in a final hail-mary to recoup their losses.