TUSCON, AZ – With countless events & actions actively undermining the crypto space’s legitimacy, there’s almost none more harmful than grown men unironically investing in cryptocurrencies inspired by a dog meme from 2013. In pursuit of answers, a bold new study conducted by researchers at University of Arizona has […]
CHARLESTON, SC – The holiday season is a time of year that most associate with food, family, and comfort. For others, it’s the time when they must confront relatives they gave comically bad, unsolicited investing advice to the year before. Tyler Sterling is one such person finding himself […]
HARTFORD, RH – It comes as no surprise that the chaotic cryptocurrency space by and large carries the most shit-slinging and tribalism among it’s stakeholders. This misguided vitriol is particularly prevalent in the communities of failing projects that are the result of hard forks such as Ethereum Classic, […]
JACKSONVILLE, FL – In the wake of the GameStop run up, eager investors across the globe are finding themselves feeling left out and are turning to alternative investments in hopes of retiring before they turn 21. One such individual is recently self-proclaimed investing mogul and Florida native, Darren […]
STANFORD, CA – Contentious cryptocurrency, Terra Luna, is making rounds in the media again – but this time on the shoulders of a groundbreaking new study. Published in various science journals across the country, the study in question has revealed that given the opportunity, an astounding 100% of […]
OXNARD, CA – The HODL Times staff sat down for an interview with eager cryptocurrency trader Evan Wilkinson, who is on a journey to do what most investors only dream of – finding the next Bitcoin before his parents kick him out and he has to get a […]
Your family & friends may not understand, but we do. You’re too busy getting in on the ground floor of revolutionary new technologies that you don’t understand to hold down some measly, dead-end 9-5 job. To help you maintain your image, our analysts have compiled the 10 highly […]
My dear friends, Did you really think that I wouldn’t have a contingency plan in the event I was wrong about a price prediction I made when I was high on mescaline? You fucking
SCOTTSDALE, AZ – The HODL Times investigative team arrived on scene today where local area crypto trader, Todd Campbell, was found in a fit of blind rage attempting to uproot and vandalize a Wells Fargo ATM machine. Witness reports claim that Campbell was attempting to withdraw cash to […]
REDDIT, INTERNET – “I can’t believe nobody has thought of this before,” bragged self-anointed ‘crypto g0d’, 16 year old Kevin Wade. “Instead of wasting my time analyzing market trends,
To the Editor, Don’t get me wrong, I’m a progressive guy. I listen to The Joe Rogan Experience and even have a soul patch – but I’m calling bullshit on this whole wage gap narrative. Towards the end of last year, I was on top of the world; […]
TOKYO – Miscommunication resulting from language barriers has left the crypto world in a frenzy today, as popular Chinese cryptocurrency influencer Wang Chi mispronounced ‘Litecoin’ as ‘Ritecoin’ in a recent bullish interview. LTC price was unaffected by the mix up, while VEN immediately dropped another 20% Following the […]
MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Self described “crypto tycoon” Carter Vir has found himself on the receiving end of an enormous financial loss, one among the thousands of new crypto investors that have fallen victim to taking financial advice from teenage YouTubers. “I… I just don’t know what happened,” Vir […]
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