SPOKANE, WA – Evident by a recent series of lengthy Craigslist job postings for blockchain developers to work on “the next Ethereum”, local man & self-described entrepreneur
FLORENCE, ITALY – Disgraced former owner of infamous cryptocurrency exchange Bitgrail, Francesco Firano has unveiled new details today regarding his “crypto-supergroup”, confirming it will be comprised of Jed McCaleb (Mt.Gox Co-Founder), Brock Pierce, (Tether Co-Founder), and Carlos Matos (Bitconnect Spokesman). Each confirmed member has had considerable trouble finding relevant […]
My dear friends, Did you really think that I wouldn’t have a contingency plan in the event I was wrong about a price prediction I made when I was high on mescaline? You fucking
BRISBANE, AUS – The community consensus surrounding Australian computer scientist, Dr. Craig Wright’s, claim to the renowned online pseudonym ‘Satoshi Nakamoto’ is one of substantial contention. This communal uncertainty is driven by a handful of key parallels between the two – the most prominent being Dr. Wright’s inability […]
It’s been a rough year for the average crypto investor. Things are looking bleak and you’re trying to stay positive – we get it. We also get that you may not be looking forward to having your partner ask you how your crypto portfolio is doing any time […]
SCOTTSDALE, AZ – The HODL Times investigative team arrived on scene today where local area crypto trader, Todd Campbell, was found in a fit of blind rage attempting to uproot and vandalize a Wells Fargo ATM machine. Witness reports claim that Campbell was attempting to withdraw cash to […]
TOKYO – An anonymous source has disclosed that Bitcoin Cash flag bearer, Roger Ver, has gone to seek psychiatric help following his inability to discern the meaning of the phrase “It’s not called Bcash”, and other similar variations. This is a common consequence of incessantly repeating a phrase […]
LUXEMBOURG – In an unexpected press release, VeChain CEO Sunny Lu has revealed the Foundation’s intentions to re-brand their flagship blockchain to the ‘much more powerful’ VeChainAvengers blockchain. Drawing criticism from nearly every corner of the cryptosphere, Lu has feverishly defended the decision, citing that the implementation is […]
WASHINGTON D.C – Amid forceful adversity towards the proposed border wall, the Trump administration has been scrambling for alternative solutions. One such proposal
SLIPPERY ROCK, PA – Enthusiasts and engineers across the globe have been struggling for years to make the barrier of entry into crypto easier for the average person, and the
SACRAMENTO, CA – While some wildly successful and others nothing more than fleeting money grabs, Bitcoin forks have run rampant in the crypto space within the last few
DUBLIN, IRELAND – In the wake of recent legal trouble and dissipating relevance in the MMA world, former UFC lightweight champion Conor McGregor has been confirmed to
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Controversial cryptocurrency icon, Charlie Lee, has left his Litecoin constituents puzzled after his contentious decision to add “Copy-Pasting” to his
HONG KONG – Prolific cryptocurrency exchange, Kucoin, is confirmed to be locked in explosive litigation stemming from bold allegations by a white supremacist blockchain
REDDIT, INTERNET – “I can’t believe nobody has thought of this before,” bragged self-anointed ‘crypto g0d’, 16 year old Kevin Wade. “Instead of wasting my time analyzing market trends,
The HODL Times 